jenny's belly

Pain Rate: 7

I counted my staples this morning-- I have 55. It looks like there's one about every centimeter, so that gives you an idea of how large the incision is. Very pretty. :)

It's the chest tube site which drives me nuts. I have to change the gauze pad almost every hour. It looks angry (I promise, no pictures) and there are old-fashioned stitches there because they had to sew the tube in place.

Thinking back to last Tuesday, I remember not being able to see. They tried to get me out of bed to walk but it was impossible- if you can't see you can't exactly take a turn around the place. They also hadn't figured out pain management yet. I had my regular doctor visits starting at 5am and by 8:30am there were orders for different meds, but I didn't get them until later in the day. Someone asked me to rate my pain and I gave a 7. "SEVEN!?" She was shocked. I took this to mean that I was rating my pain too high, but really she meant I shouldn't be in that much pain at this point. Anyway, it's her fault I never rated over a 4 again, even though sometimes I maybe should have.

My brother and his fiancee stopped by but I couldn't see them and can't remember what we talked about. I couldn't read the clock but when my eyes were open I tried to read it. I knew I slept most of the time but didn't realize I was sleeping for a few minute intervals. I asked my mother "is it still tuesday" about 5 times after waking up. That dreadful day would not end!!

When thirsty, I was allowed to suck on a damp sponge on a lollipop stick. And I was thrilled. My waterpops were really the only thing that would comfort the back of my throat (which incidentally still hurts).

Wednesday morning they pulled out the chest tube (YAY!) and much of the pain went down. My surgeon visited and stoic as he is, said I looked good (he still hasn't seen the incision since the operation though- I think he takes his team's word for it). He said I would probably be able to have my NG tube out on sunday. I was SUNK. This is the tube coming providing light suction from my stomach and out of my nose. Everytime I moved the tube it hurt my nose, and everytime I swallowed it hurt my throat.

I believe it was weds night that my uncle Bob and aunt Jeanne visited. I think it was at this point I announced my greatest dream was lime jello and a shower. My previous dreams were a good job and a fun car. I'd downgraded a bit.

I could see much better by thursday. I was starting to cheat the waterpops by sucking on ice chips too. My grandparents visited- I think they were surprised by how crap-tastic I looked. My mom said I was still white as a sheet. But I still had the tube in my nose, one in my neck, and in my arm. And since I was still in bed a lot I had to wear the booties. Huge cast-like things they'd wrap from ankle to thigh which would inflate to keep the blood moving. My walks around the nurse's station were painfully slow.

The worst for me was that my face was always hot. Not just hot but often sweating. The nurse's station had a little fan which I adopted on wednesday after a significant hot flash (aka medical reaction) but there were times when my feet were freezing. It's like my body is in different time zones.

They surprised me by taking the NG tube out friday morning. It was sweet, sweet freedom. They'd finally straightened out my pain issue (though I never remembered to push the buttons for the medicine), the WORST tube was out, my focus was back-- I could actually watch TV at this point. Friday night they announced I was gettng blood. I felt (and still feel) guilty. But I shouldn't. I really needed it. The next day my mother said I actually had color in my face.

But I was finally allowed to eat friday, and I went right for the jello. Life's sweetest fruit. :)

I'll write more about the Wheat Nazi later...

posted by Jen at 8:30 AM