jenny's belly

Residents are Evil

So here's the latest as of 2 days ago.... talked with my primary doctor. Oh, backtrack.... in order to get in to SEE a doctor when I first hurt my back 3 weeks ago, I had to actually switch PCPs. The guy who could see me is a resident reporting to my PCP (Dr. Schneider is also the medical director of the hospital branch). So I've been dealing with a resident through all this. Sure, he's probably a smart guy, but I'll bet I'm the first young cancer patient he's dealt with. So anyway, he doesn't give me a whole lot of confidence. SO, fastforward... I spoke with him on friday, and the results of my 3rd MRI are basically... ready?... whatever it is they saw on the first 2 MRIs is not as clear on this 3rd MRI. My lovely resident thinks we're all done, case closed, problem solved, next patient please. I don't know about you, but whenever you go 2 out of 3 on anything, doesn't the 2 win instead of the 1?? So a THING something something something is showing up on my spine and they're just going to let it go. Yeah, not so much. Seriously, after the 2nd MRI my resident told me "one of the radiologists thinks it could be your body reacting to a cancer, but probably not." !!!!! Oh, that's reassuring! Don't you EVER EVER EVER say that to a cancer survior, stupid!
So I'm going to call Dr. Mamon tomorrow, my radiation oncologist, because I both trust him and love his deep soothing voice. I'm not even sure if I'll hear what he's saying to me, but at least I'll be relaxed. :) He's the head of radiation oncology at Brigham & Women's so I do trust him completely. He told me this past spring when I saw him that it was "time for me to start putting it all behind me." Such a nice concept. A lovely, completely impossible, concept.
Anyway, the good news is that my back pain itself has been better. I just moved some heavy boxes today (carpets being cleaned in my condo on tuesday) so its hurting me right now, but for the most part its an "ignorable" pain. The fact I could even move those boxes is good thing. I think I'm going to suck it up and go to the chiropracter. And yes I'm aware I can't spell that word. :)
My next CT scan is on tuesday (12/4), and I'll see my chemo oncologist the following tuesday. I'm definitely going to talk to him about this thing on my spine. If I get enough people I trust to tell me everythings fine, then I'll let it go.
There's just this line between relaxing and trusting your doctors and being DILIGENT about your health care...just not really sure when I've crossed it, you know?
It snowed for the first time this winter! So pretty... Life is so fragile.

posted by Jen at 5:55 PM