Why are you sick? Oh yeah, chemo
"You shouldn't be this sick.""Typically, patients aren't as sick as you are."
"We don't see patients this sick on the course you're on."
So what, I'm making it up?
Yes, everyone, I'm faking it! Isn't it funny? I'm not sick at all but to be convincing I even stopped eating and drinking. Wheee what a lark!
First, I've never written "what a lark" before, so I feel better for having gotten that out of the way. Second, I'm feeling much better now than I have for the past several days. Third, I'm eating again. Well, I'm starting to eat again.
My vision was blurry which explains the lack of posts. Sunday's came in on a wing and a prayer. I'd promised to do the "RCRL #2" and I was GOING to do it.
I felt okay on tuesday and wednesday, though wednesday night I was starting to feel crappy. By Friday I was sick and Saturday I was crying, so things went a bit downhill.
And when you feel that way, nauseous, vomiting, tired, scared, etc you just want to throw in the chemo towel. "DING, I'm out. It's been real folks, but this is beyond bearing."
What's worse? The old "you shouldn't be this sick." I AM this sick, so DEAL with it! I think I finally got the right drug mix yesterday. Hunger hit me after a cold sweat took all my energy away. It was like someone restarted the engine.
Anyway, I'm hesitant today, and I'm going to try very hard to eat and drink so I can cancel my otherwise scheduled 3+ hour fluids pump tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
Oh, here's my "drug list"...
posted by Jen at
8:13 AM
9 comment(s):
Hi Jen,
So sorry to hear about how that awful chemo has affected you. It's especially upsetting to hear that you got such terrible responses about your sickness. It thought this happened mostly in neurology-land, where I've been subjected to these kinds of things ("I've never heard of anyone experiencing this side effect of this medication", and worse). Well, like you said, why would you make these things up? A lot of medical folks seem to think only in statistics, and if you fall outside of those, then you must be making things up. Don't give up, confront them with it and ask for help!
By
Anonymous, at
10/18/2005 10:22 AM
Jen: Next time someone says that, why don't you say something like, "Yeah, well, I'm not supposed to have cancer, either". That should shut them up. I honestly don't know what good a comment/question like that is supposed to do? Sorry to hear of your recent frustration.
By
Anonymous, at
10/18/2005 12:33 PM
Ooo, I like Lisa B's come back. Let's see what else this group can come up with.
I'm sorry your body has decided to be so sick in response to the chemo but I'm glad to hear you seem to be feeling a bit better . . .at least your vision is back. Blurred vision has to be scarey on top of everything else.
That's a pretty good drug list you have going there. Certainly you can fit in a few more. :) I mean, I do see some white space on that sheet of paper.
Hang in there.
Jenn Crane
By
Anonymous, at
10/18/2005 1:51 PM
Love the drug list spreadsheet!! What dummies are questioning how sick you are feeling? Next time you get a smart remark...POW, Right In The Kisser!!! Also, be on the lookout for a package from Kaira.
:-)
By
Anonymous, at
10/18/2005 3:20 PM
Hey Jen! Sorry you are having such a cruddy time with this chemo. I had a nurse tell me once when I was pregnant and having premature labor, "You shouldn't be having contractions this early...are you sure it ain't just gas honey?" My husband had to get in between us because he knew I was about to commit justifiable homicide. I got another nurse. My son Logan has a lot of problems sickness wise and had a fever of 105.3 a few months ago in the hospital. I was of course freaking out thinking about seizures and what other things could happen with that, and the nurse blew me off with, "we see fevers higher than that all the time, it's no big deal". Heck yeah, lady, it's a big deal - it's my 3 year old. Logan promptly threw up all over her. It shut her up - maybe that would work? I have posted some pictures on my blog of Logan's first day of school if you feel up to taking a peek! http://parkerfamily8.blogspot.com
PS - thanks for your kind email! Lifted my spirits!!
By
Lynna Kay, at
10/18/2005 5:58 PM
Eh, you want maybe for some of us cancer survivors to, how shall we say, pay these doctors a ...visit? Maybe see if we can get them to see things our way? We'd hate to see anything bad happen to someone who maybe says the wrong thing to our Jen. Terrible accidents sometimes happen to doctors and nurses who got big mouths....
By
Anonymous, at
10/19/2005 8:52 AM
Hi Jen,
So sorry you had a horrible time with this first cycle. Hopefully they have adjusted your meds and you will continue to feel better every day.
Keep your chin up - you're doing great!
By
Anonymous, at
10/19/2005 10:30 AM
Hi Jen,
First chemo I felt awful and was sick big time...This time they have doubled my anti emetics and so far *three hours afterwards* so good...
How DARE they say that.... Just send me their name and address and BINGO!
*smiling*
Minerva
By
Minerva, at
10/19/2005 10:46 AM
Jen, Thanks for the drug list. Please include a price list so I can make my appropriate choices;) Look at the bright side, after this is over you could have a brand new career selling the left overs.
Your neighbor Janice, remember?
By
Anonymous, at
10/19/2005 12:15 PM
Post a comment
<< Home