jenny's belly

Hangin' in there

I've been kind of quiet lately, but doing okay. I actually was granted a reprieve by the warden and I have my chemo pump off through monday. Dr. Bhargava said since I'm not getting radiation for 4 days (Thanksgiving holiday) that I could take it off "if I wanted to." Hmmm, should I?

Good thing he didn't change his mind, that would have crushed me completely!

He also put me on another nausea drug--something new on the market. It's working well so far. I still throw up in the morning and feel ill but I don't feel AS ill, and believe me, that's huge. And I'm able to force-feed myself which just wasn't possible before. I don't want to eat, but I WILL eat. Another big difference. Before I didn't want to eat and just couldn't either.

So I have a four day break. It's so nice to have the needle out, to have the chemo bag off my shoulder. I feel like I'm getting another vacation. It's strange, I'm not "working" at beating cancer, I'm just allowing things to "happen" to me. But it's exhausting and somehow seems like a lot of work.

And don't worry about me not enjoying Thanksgiving. Its my least favorite holiday. I prefer Labor Day or Flag Day over this one. The food is all brown, outside everything is brown, people even dress in brown (look around your table tomorrow and tell me I'm wrong). I'm not a turkey fan and don't like pumpkin pie... I think I'll be having clam chowder tomorrow. I wish they'd let me have that every year! :)

Happy thanksgiving to you and yours! The real reason for the holiday is to be thankful for what we have, for friends and family, for the ability to overindulge, and for a restful pause. No gift exchange required, just wear your eatin' britches.

posted by Jen at 2:47 PM