jenny's belly

Reconnecting

I sent most of my christmas cards out already and had to take the awkward moment to say "GUESS WHAT!" to a few people. I really wanted everyone to know at the same time, back in July, but I couldn't figure out how to contact some people and...what, should I have written letters back then? I don't know. And where the hell is Costa? There, I've said it.

I hope I didn't make it too big of a surprise. "Hi, How are you? Yeah, I have stomach cancer..." I basically said I was diagnosed in July, and I'm doing well though treatment sucks. I think it summarizes it nicely. But it's really no better than the blast email I sent out back in July. Talk about a shocker.

I haven't had a pity day in over a week, which is amazing. The social worker at Dana Farber tried to get me to have one today but I wasn't buying. She gives me the pity look, which I HATE, and immediately I'm strong. Don't confuse the look of pity with real compassion or empathy. You don't need to make the "oooh" sound either. It doesn't help.

No, for now I say things are kind of crappy but I have to just deal with it. I'm in the homestretch with my chemo/radiation double-whammy. My nurse Nina stood in front of me today with a big smile, saying I had done well. It was like I had saved the company money or passed an exam with flying colors. I've just tolerated the torture well, I've somehow been able to keep my blood level, I haven't gotten sick (outside colds) and I try my damnest to eat something 3 times a day.

I found that taking my pills with tea works really well. Another happy use for tea! GOD I take a lot of pills for a 31 year old. And if I take them with water they usually come back up again. Eww.

Anyway, I only have five treatments of radiation left and they put the last pump on me today. I'll be disconnected next monday (though I'm trying to pull some strings to get everything overwith on saturday).

I'm excited to be reconnecting with long lost friends. Hey, if it takes this crap disease to do it, then so be it. We're often looking for excuses and I'm happy to provide one. :)

To everyone: I'm extremely tired right now and avoid the telephone like it might give me cancer (really) so email or snail mail is the best way to get me... and there might be a delay. I'll try to be better about posting, a little more than once a week. :)

I wish I could give you a big hug!! Thanks for caring enough to check in on me :)

posted by Jen at 8:42 PM