jenny's belly

Eat up!

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and found my blood levels, white and red, fell again. AARRGHGH. I'm in danger of delaying my next chemo (in 2 wks). And though I felt okay I was over-ruled and had to get more fluids. It only takes 2 hours but when you can't read it sometimes feels like an eternity.

And my nutritionist tracked me down. She's extremely nice and very intelligent but she really leaned on me this week. I have a list of things I have to eat, and she told me my way "wasn't cutting it anymore" and the new way is "non-negotiable." She even wrote it in big capital letters at the bottom of my menu thing. So I actually have to eat MORE OFTEN than I do now. I eat twice, sometimes three times a day, and it has to be five or six times a day now.

She said the reason everything tastes bad is not just mouth sores, but because my protein levels are so low. I have to actually "eat beyond the barrier".

I used to love food. I've taken classes (I'm on hiatus now, obviously) in culinary arts at a university known for churning out chefs (Emeril, anyone?). I used to love the color of food and the potential of food to be something great. Now I have someone, a professional at that, telling me I don't know how to feed myself. And even better, I'm not eating enough.

My nutritionist was telling me all this as I was having fluids pumped into me, which shows I also don't know how to drink enough. I'm failing at two of the most basic human instincts.

And I'm only supposed to eat proteins. She said not to bother with fruits & vegetables. Are you having a smoothie? Put some peanut butter in it. Is that yogurt? Put some peanut butter in it. What is that, steak? Put some peanut butter on it. Are you eating tuna? ALL RIGHT I GET IT!

posted by Jen at 5:34 PM