jenny's belly

Accepting

I'm noticing that not as much hair is falling out anymore. I'd say I lost 50%. I still get hair in and on everything, but it just seems like the hairball at the bottom of the shower is shrinking :).

I've "come off the roof" as far as the lymph node is concerned. I can't remember now if my doctor said it was there in my last CT scan or not. I'll have to ask at my next appointment. Mom thinks it was there in October, but the scan showed it hasn't changed since then.

What I've come to terms with is that this fight against cancer didn't take the "fight" out of me. I'm exhausted as a drug side-effect, not because I pushed myself too hard. So if my next CT scan shows the pesky enlarged lymph node still there, I'll be okay with it. If the cancer returns in a year or whatever, I can just restart the push.

I'm learning to say "the cancer is gone" which is strange, because I found saying "I have cancer" was much, much easier.

I start physical therapy on friday, and set up a gene therapy session for next month. Basically a genetic counselor and my gastroenterologist will meet and go over my family history of cancer and they can see whether I have certain mutations or predispositions. I'm most concerned for my brother. His odds of getting prostate cancer are sky high, and I can only imagine how he feels knowing his sister had cancer already.

But I'm feeling better and able to leave the house a bit more. There are some days when I'm able to skip my nap. I found that food isn't as against me as before. I'm drinking orange juice now (gasp!) and I can eat past 7:30 without being sick.

And today is the first day of spring!!

posted by Jen at 9:17 AM