jenny's belly

Some updates

My roommate from the cancer survivors weekend died yesterday. She was so sick, even at the retreat, that once she had to go back to chemo it was just too much for her. I was amazed she was at the weekened because along with everything else, she couldn't walk very well and she couldn't eat. There were times when I would wake up in the middle of the night and look over at her in the other bed and just kind of check to see that she was breathing. I only knew her for a few days, but I could almost sense that she wouldn't make it much longer. I've thought about her a lot today since I found out, and I just know she's in a better place. Her earth-bound suffering was just cruel.

I was emailing one of the guys from the weekend before we knew about Megan, and he told me he was recently hit by a car while he was riding his bicycle. We had an interesting "I am invincible" discussion. Having cancer forces you to look death in the face. And having walked away feels like cheating death. I feel like if God was going to take me anytime soon he had the perfect opportunity and decided its not my time yet. Rafi and I both agreed we think we can go play in traffic now and be perfectly fine. I could announce on plane trips: "It's okay everyone, we're going to be fine because I recently beat cancer."

I put together a little cancer scrapbook yesterday, with quotes from this blog, quotes from famous authors and some cancer humor along with pictures of flowers that I've taken over the past year. I hadn't intended to put anything together, but it was really impressed upon us at the survivors weekend that you need to have something like it. We even had 2 different "book making" arts & crafts clinics. Okay, okay, I'll make the damn book. :) I'm very proud of it and it's not too emotional or long-winded. Just right.

I was discharged (or as I keep saying, "dismissed") from physical therapy last week so I've been walking and going to the gym. You should see me with the free weights. Its all I can do to keep going at some of these exercises. My aunt Jo asked how heavy the weights were. I smiled, "three whole pounds!" I'm not strong enough to do the machines yet. But I can do the ones for legs and hopefully if I keep at it I'll be in good shape to return to work in a month. I still take naps every day, so I'm not sure how much use I'll be, but getting back to routine has to be a good thing.

posted by Jen at 5:35 PM