The Lymph Node
I met with Dr. Bhargava today, mostly to talk about my unusually enlarged lymph node. I'm thinking to make it easier, since I have countless lymph nodes but only one who's calling attention to himself, that I'd go ahead an name it.So Fabian is most likely benign. We're guessing here since there has been no change in 6 months and after extremely intense chemotherapy, but it probably isn't preparing to spread. There are naturally no guarantees, but I was honest with my doctor and told him I fully expect Fabian to give me a recurrance of cancer in the next two years. He (my doctor, not my lymph node) shook his head in understanding and spent a lot of time explaining that Dr. Osteen, my surgeon, didn't take Fabian out because it was higher up than the surgical area, and its a good thing that it didn't change in 6 months, etc etc etc.
I'd like YOU to know I still believe I'm going to get cancer again in the next couple of years, but I think after a few more CT scans I'll start to feel better about it. Things are still too recent. As Dr. Bhargava said, the most important thing is time-- time for my body to settle down, and time to see exactly what will happen.
I felt different walking down the halls of Dana Farber today. Its only been 2 weeks, but I didn't feel QUITE so much like I fit in. Its a good thing. I don't feel as I did a few weeks ago-- like I'd been laid off from Dana Farber. Today it felt more like a familiar place, and not my home away from home.
posted by Jen at
4:50 PM
3 comment(s):
Hi Jen! Glad to hear that Fabian has not changed and maybe he will slowly shrink down in size once your body has a chance to recover from all it has been through. That being said, I can also understand your expectation that Fabian will cause a recurrance of the cancer. The non-nurse, illogical part of me would feel exactly the same way. I think its a very normal, very human way to feel. You have been through so much already; its like you brace yourself for the worst now. Of course, the more logical side of me would argue again that Fabian is just reacting to all that has happened to you. If there was any question as to a malignantnature of Fabian's existence I am sure that he, too, would have been removed.
Sorry to hear about the delay with the cruise. Can you all scedule a trip on another ship or will you wait until you get an all clear on this one? Once you actually get to go, I think you will have a wonderful time. You both certainly deserve it!
Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Kelly
By
Anonymous, at
3/28/2006 11:03 PM
Hi Jen! Just read a lot of your blogs and I saw the cruise ship on the news. So sad that such a pretty cruise ship was destroyed and that your sunny cruise was cancelled :( They best be rescheduling that for you, or else! Anyways just thought I'd say hi. Hope to see you soon. It's been too long. I know it's hard but try to be optimistic about everything. You're a great woman and I know everything will work out for the best.
Thinking of you.
Love,
Ali
By
Anonymous, at
3/29/2006 12:14 PM
I had a questionable lymph node turn up on a PET scan just last week. I had to get an MRI(its n my right arm) and it turned out to be benign like yours. It was scary for a moment though, as I am about to go into surgery to remove a tumor located near my kidney. I was thinking great, not my arm too! Thank you for sharng your experience with cancer. Best of luck to you, I'll be reading as I recover.
By
Anonymous, at
3/29/2006 1:17 PM
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