jenny's belly

Monday, February 16, 2009


I was bored on my computer and started catching up with all my cancer friends on "Planet Cancer". The part I pay attention to now (besides the articles, etc) is basically Facebook for cancer people (friends/family/patients/survivors). Sounds torturous but its actually comforting. You can always find someone in worse shape than you, and you can also find people who feel guilt because they aren't ask sick as someone else. I have to admit, my favorite people are those who are on there because they THINK they have cancer. Haven't seen their doctor yet, they're just self-diagnosing. Like one woman who went on and on about how she thought she had cancer and was looking forward to dying. It was unintentionally a complete insult to everyone on there struggling for their lives, but I think everyone treated her kindly.

Planet Cancer is for young adults, basically 20-39 (under 20 is generally pediatric cancer, over 40 is no longer 'young adult'). They didn't have the stuff they do now when I was going through treatment. They changed the format to facebook-ish about a year ago. There's still only one other stomach cancer person on there. She's the only one I'm aware of out there in this universe. I know its rare for a YA to get stomach cancer, but COME ON. Its not unheard of.

Which reminds me that I have to sign up for the Dana Farber one-to-one program, where you make yourself available to newly diagnosed people. I have to do an all-day training first and I've never been able to squeeze it in. But anyway, I really should. It would have been nice if someone had been there for me.

My next CT scan is in about a month. My last lab work in December came back very good. My red & white blood cells are 'babies' for the most part, which is cute to think about. They're very 'young' so I'm told (I guess they can tell b/c they're small) but at least there's promise they'll grow up. :) Neutrofils? I can't remember what they're called precisely. I don't have many adult blood cells, but my doctors say as long as I have the young ones I don't have to worry about the very low adult levels.

I've finally accepted that nothing is forever. I don't always remember, but I do believe in it. I don't mean that I'll LIVE forever. I mean, if I feel terrible, the feeling will pass. If I buy some blueberries and save them, they will eventually spoil. Know what I mean? Nothing is permanent.